Instead, I opted for careers and/or activities that were both creative, personally rewarding, and fulfilling my desire to continually learn. Pretty resourceful for a girl that thought she wasn't good enough. Sadly, my own health became the focus of healing, I was diagnosed, in my mid 20's, with two auto immune diseases. Even at that young age, I was already entrenched and the 'too busy' routines intruded on making art. Fortunately, while convalescing at home, art was what I turned to to pass the time.
I repeated this pattern into my late thirties:
Get well at home and make art to pass the time
Return to work and get too busy to integrate art into daily practice.
My health continued to plague me, winding up for month long stays in hospital, I was getting more frail but didn't know how to turn the bus around. Another stay in hospital, this one was almost my last, I had opted for major surgery, a true last resort choice. Tragically, a surgical error during my operation almost ended this story here.
The best news to come from this trauma, I knew that I had to pursue my dreams regardless of my fear, confidence or know-how. I knew that I was given a second chance at life to live it with creativity and joy. I knew that I was meant to live; to share my passion, knowledge and joy with others.
Skip past the next six years, they were rifled with pain, sadness and physical recovery, therapy, art making, a solo art show, and art teaching. Which brings us to last year, I started to see that my childhood dreams were nearing reality.
I submitted a business proposal to be a tenant at cSPACE King Edward, a historical building, operating as an arts incubator, their mission: to ignite creativity, community, collaboration. I proposed that I would run a public interactive art studio which would offer art class/workshops, retail space and pop up gallery space.
A point of interest- during the (six post op) recuperation years, I watched cSPACE grow their public presence, I attended fundraisers, public talks, and art events. Yet, not once, did I dream that I would, or could, be a tenant within their walls. Not even a secret imagination or dream. NEVER! I underscore this point as I want you, dear reader, to understand the power that fear has on our lives, dreams and potential.
I am sure you are curious, what was the turning point? Sadly, if it wasn't for the misfortunes of a few, I likely would have never applied to cSPACE. I had been renting an art classroom from a local art supply store, and without warning, they went out of business. I was left in a lurch, about to start the next session of art class.
This was the ingredient which my dreams needed in order to take root. I contemplated renting an art studio but it didn't have the activity of a public space, which I had come to enjoy at the art store. After months of hauling my students to temporary locations, I stumbled on the potential of cSPACE. I was visiting a friend, telling her all about cSPACE, and reading allowed their recent 'call for tenants'. It was still lost on me at that moment, until I heard myself reading aloud, the square footage price and their ideal tenant. Reality set in, my fear was taken over by facts. I was able to apply my past classroom expenses, capacity, and required square footage, and my ideology.
What had gotten in the way of my dreams again? My fear. It wasn't that I hadn't considered cSPACE, it was that I could not even fathom the possibility. I share this painful admittance, because I know that I am not alone in allowing FEAR to run my life.
Hear your fear and show it reality; Speak to your dreams and show them you can.
The Paula Timm Artist Studio is located at cSPACE King Edward! I have a perfect space with the most amazing windows, six of them actually, the light pours in from dusk till dawn. I am not just doing what I had dreamed of, but exceeding them.
I would love to show you around my studio and I have the perfect opportunity to do just that!
Alberta Culture Days
cSPACE King Edward
1721-29 avenue sw, #125
cSPACE King Edward
1721-29 avenue sw, #125
September 29, 30, Oct 1
Family Friendly & FREE!
Beer Tents, Entertainment, Musical Performances, Live art making, Studio Tours and more...